The Summer of 2015 on Wall Street

Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin

Wall Street, the allure

Wall Street has a certain “comment dire,” allure, if you will. If you’ve ever been there you would agree. It’s the tall buildings, the intricate architectures of its mere existence, and the side streets of cobblestone, the famous landmarks, the small shops and what’s left of some Brownstone homes.  Then, there’s the spirit of people walking with purpose and confidence that states dollar signs everywhere. The eagerness and hunger of success is in everyone’s eyes. The people and their clothing symbolize competition riddled with anxiety. At this site, there are also some street vendors trying to sell their menial items to these “wall streetwalkers.”  The tourists are so obvious in their disguise; they don’t see the evil that lies within. There is one man suited up, standing in front of the building next to the Trump building shouting as he preaches words from the bible in a way that details the evil that surrounds the neighborhood. He combines the politics and the bible all in the same breath. People fill up the cement stairs on the this building, as they are sitting, tourists’ using it as a rest stop and looking around. In front of the Stock Exchange building stand several security details that surround two sides of the building but only one main entrance and it is highly secured. The entire building has a mid-level metal fancy fence that surrounds the building so no one can get close to it. All the doors on the outside of the building have two/three security guards securing the entrances and directing people to the one main entrance. It seems almost impossible to get in but I never tried. Since 911, as I understand some of the main streets that surround the Trump Building and the NY Stock Exchange Building are both blocked off and vehicles that go through there will have to go through a thorough search with dogs and everything.

The Job Offer

Everything sounded as good as it seemed, truly the excitement nearly fell off my face from how happy I was. It was an offer I could not pass up.  At the time, employment seemed scarce and a clean honest living couldn’t possibly hurt anyone. I mean, why not.  Raising a family with no income is extremely hard to do. My friend had mentioned a job offer at an office in the Trump Building. The Trump Building, “Wall Street” and the lack of supervision this job involved was definitely exciting for me.  The job involved an Office Manager position for a financial firm to basically organize the working functions of the office. I was to aid in keeping the senior partner organized and on track with all her daily appointments.  I was to keep her calendar busy and make it seem like she was working all the time. I was to expect a lump sum of cash per week, no weekends and 40% of commission a month of profits earned.

The Situation Analysis

The first week, the office had empty walls, there was a mess everywhere, and there was a clear indication that the office was operating by the “seat of their pants.” This gave the office a very cold environment, no credibility and gave me the impression that it was a start-up. Despite all the red flags, I ignored them because I got a job and the pay was like a “flashing green light: I was in need.  The office was small in size and there were three computer stations, three office phones and one wide two-drawer filing cabinet.

The first week I was getting acclimated and things were okay, a little disturbing because my boss did seem distracted and preoccupied with her personal nonsense.  The workweek began and there was an influx of inbound sales calls, which in turn allowed me to pitch sales.  There were only three of us in the office, the senior partner who did mock underwriting, a sales person and myself the office manager.  By payday on Friday, I was voluntarily promoted into sales because I did such a great job on the sales pitch.  I felt extremely uncomfortable because I was not asked to do the sales position, the boss just simply told me. My boss, as I was beginning to learn is the type of person to create quick easy scenarios where you could not approach her with something instantaneously as it happened, because she would leave or become too busy. My pay was then reduced to $250 per week as cash advance from drawer because at the end of the month, I was to earn a total of $4000 in compensation, which would equal to $5000 total.

Damage Control

I was furious but I took a breather and continued to work the rest of the day. I went home and calmly planned an outline of how I would address this matter. I waited until Saturday morning and called my boss; I told her that we needed to discuss her decision and my position with the company. She replied by saying that Sunday would be a better day, I agreed and the conversation was over. I then proceeded to send her an email, explaining the uncharacteristic professionalism by her actions. Based on the conversation we had during the hiring process, which was a binding verbal agreement since the conversation happened in the state of New York not in New Jersey. She then agreed to pay me for the full week as an Office Manager and then proceeded to tell me that I could stay if I did sales. I agreed because I wanted to give it a chance.  This was the worst idea, yet, I should have taken my pay and left for good. But nope, I did just the opposite I stayed.

Suckered Endurance

The next 2.5 months were extremely unsecure, unbalanced, uncertain and filled with horse manure disguised as a neurotic, self-centered, insecure, bi-polar and crooked person.  She claimed to have graduated from Penn State University, however proof ceases to exist. She was a licensed nurse who lost her license due to writing illegal prescriptions.  She said she was drug-free but instead her instability would say otherwise. Her demeanor and character were of a person with a dual personality and an expert manipulator that would clearly lie to get her way, and then play the victim. I never made the $4000 in the first month; I stayed because I was to get it together with the second month. In total, Mrs. Cash from Wall Street owes me $6800, but my peace of mind is absolutely more valuable than any price tag.

My Exit Strategy

Eventually, I tired of her shenanigans easily and could not even be in the same room with her. My last days resulted in me getting sick one morning and not showing up to work for two days. By Wednesday morning, I had already decided that I was not going to return to the job.

The deceit that I faced does not deserve an image of a beautiful branded heel by Christian Louboutin. However, it serves as a motif to symbolize how something so beautiful and elegant can possibly cause turmoil. No physical pain of course, just the painful idea that there are such people in the world that you must steer clear of. This is one of my many painful situations in the workforce and found myself blindsided by such actions. Unfortunately, I did not report her to the NYC Department of Labor because she had more trouble to deal with then I could cause her and for me, most of the times as difficult as it maybe, turning the cheek and becoming invisible in someone’s life is the best revenge anyone could ever claim.

Originally, the evil lies from the person within, however, this place reeks of evil. It only matters how you perceive, even in all its glory and grand splendor, evil lies within Wall Street.

Societal Statuses: Being Single

By Christa Image Source: http://goo.gl/Z02d7W
By Christ
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Societal Statuses: Being Single

Societal statuses have great meaning for some people. Some people allow names and labels to dictate their meaning in life. As if the way of the world revolves around these titles. In some way these titles and labels help categorize your self-image as to where you are in the world but ideally we are not products with bar codes. And yet, in we have social security numbers.

In many professional environments titles and labels are exemplary forms of placement in the hierarchy latter, it has become a systematic normal practice. But in a social environment does it really matter.

In an urban society life differs from that of suburbia, just like in low-income and financially stable communities. Everything around us is not as small as the world we see and perceive. We must learn to engage with all walks of life to grow from our idealistic smallness. We are a forever evolving and emerging class, for we are still the smartest species on the planet.

So what about social status, let’s take being single for instance:

By Ellen Ericson Image Source: http://goo.gl/Jr1XYF
By Ellen Ericson
Image Source: http://goo.gl/Jr1XYF

Being Single

Society has led us to believe that being single at a certain age means something negative. Why, because traditionally and religiously we are born to grow, mate and reproduce. We grow up with our families and we leave the nest to find our very own families. Ideally, yes this is all great and very true. Today, tradition is changing for people because sometimes some people have to re-create their very own traditions. So, who is to say that being single at the age of (above 35) is a negative thing? Heck, if we look back to our family’s histories’ we will find that most of the familial practices were everything short of tradition. Is it a negative reality if you are (above 40) and single? No, it is not. Truth is that there are no right(s) and wrong(s) things just are. It only matters where you are in life and where you wish to be. Everyone has an ideal image of what they want to see themselves in and if that image is not fulfilled (we) as people work hard to get there. There is no rush to get hitched, but if taking a risk is your fear then this requires a different conversation. All I am suggesting is that we should live our lives to the fullest as much as we can without letting these labels and titles hinder our process.

Questions we should ask ourselves to make sure that these labels are not hindering our choices in life:

  • Am (I) exactly where (I) want to be?
  • Why am (I) here?
  • What got (me) here?

If (I) am not where (I) need to be then ask yourselves these questions:

  •  Why am (I) not exactly where I want to be?
  •  Where do (I) want to be?
  •  What am (I) doing to change where I am, currently?

(Who) is omitted from the questions (we) or (I) need to ask ourselves because (we) or (I) is the (who). (We) or (I) take full responsibility of being exactly where (I) am.

Once you realize that you are where you are because (1) you choose to be (2) because you are not proactively doing something to change where you are (3) because you have some things to take care of (goals) and etc. Once you have an understanding of the why, you will no longer see yourself as being single as a problem.

The truth is that in order for you to change that label that so hurdles your existence you must have a plan and set a goal for yourself to change it. Otherwise, you will continue to settle with the idea of your current situation without understanding. The idea is to comprehend the why and then realize that why and gain a new perspective. Life becomes so much easier with labels when (we) understand the why.

The Devil’s Gaze

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Gaze Into the Devil’s Eyes in ‘Paradise Lost’
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Acknowledgment

I want to dedicate this to all the young lost souls out there who are trying to find meaning in a difficult materialistic world.

The Devil’s Gaze

The Devil’s gaze is so strong for you never see it coming, only through numerous attempts of failure can you really be adept to the Devil’s gaze. This is my plea to you, oh my dear boy, the Devil has you in his gaze. Like looking through the sniper’s focal point in his rifle, the Devil has a tight gaze on you. You cannot possibly know it is the Devil, for he comes to you as everything you wished for. Tangible materials things that have no meaning and yet, cost more than you can afford. Things that classify you, things that turn you into a statistic and things that turn you into somebody you are not.

The Devil has you in his gaze; he sees what an easy target you are. He sees the things that temporarily mask your truest self. He comes to you as everything you ever wished for. He makes the pain go away, because he has you in his gaze. So much pain to hide from, too much pain for one person to bear and yet, they the pain is always there.

Oh lord, dear boy, the Devil has you in his gaze. I wish that you could see, what I could see the pain, the deceit and the treachery. Life’s too short to live this way, today you are here and tomorrow will be another day. The pain never really goes away, as long as you are in the Devil’s gaze. He grabs you and he holds you tight, clearly with all his might, he lies to you and gives you what you think is right.

The Devil my dear boy has you in his gaze. I wish he would let go, I wish that you could know, that the only way is to break free from the Devil’s gaze.  We all make mistakes and we are all not perfect, we are repeat offenders until one day; we break free from the Devil’s gaze. Stay way from such lies, make a list if you have to. It’s easy to fall into his trap and it’s a hard lifestyle to keep up with. Break free my son; break free from the Devil’s gaze.

There are so many like you in the Devil’s gaze, he does not discriminate in any way. He focuses on every characteristic that identifies a person and turns them into this perverse ritual. He accepts all genders, all ages, all races, ethnicity, all religions and cultural beliefs, for it does not matter where you are in life the Devil will always seek to have you in his gaze.

When the mature fall victim to his trap, it is sometimes irreparable but when a child falls in his gaze it is mostly unforgivable. The Devil preys on the weak and the curious. We are all God’s children and when the Devil has us in his gaze, he looks to challenge the one and only that can save.

You are not alone, for everyone has been in the Devil’s gaze; some of us still are. The only thing I ask is to be open and be aware for the Devil’s gaze will only bring despair.

Judgment Day, Every Day!

people, bus stop, judgment day, every day,
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Judgment Day, Every Day

Judgment day is every day! Every day we are being judged by someone, perhaps everyone. From the moment you wake up to the moment we go to sleep, not a moment goes by that someone somewhere has even a fleeting thought about us. Our kids and our spouses think of us. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. When standing on the bus stop, people will glance at us. What goes through their minds? What fleeting thoughts are they thinking? It could be a good thought or it could be a not so good thought but one thing is for sure is that every day is judgment for us.

When we walk into our daily rituals, our mundane lifestyle as we seek meaning; someone out there is judging us.

We live behind a looking glass, and everyone stares behind that glass. A thought comes to mind as the glance penetrates our path.

This judgment is a survival mechanism, a mere distraction from what we must tend to. We have to be prudent and mindful of our stares and our glances. For as we are being judged, we too judge others.

We have our traditions, our morals and our ethical beliefs that shape how we think. We are not right and we are by far perfect. For what may be right for us, may not be right for others. We can’t all possibly agree but we can have compassion, we can try to empathize and we can certainly try to understand without highlighting others faults. If we don’t, our faults shine and we become worse than the ones behind the looking glass.

And as we wait for the ultimate judgment day from the supreme being, just remember that judgment day is every day.

Years ago, when Shakesphere was around, he said, “all the world is a stage and we are merely all the players.”

When he said that, he was referring to the theory of putting our best foot forward as long as people looking.

As long as people are looking, as long as people are listening and judging we will always tell our best stories, we never want to share defeat because for some, being defeated is a sign of weakness. But they are wrong because being defeated is a process of education. When we are defeated we are being prepared through the steps and the process of doing things right… Not the right way for whose looking but the right way for us, individually. Just remember as you say, hello to your fellow neighbor, your boss or the bus driver, judgment day is every day for us. Be nice, put on a show and smile because people are always watching, people are always looking and waiting, waiting to see you fall.

Nine Insights on Journalism From Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Wonder Sonder

“I’ve always been convinced that my true profession is that of a journalist.”

During an interview held at his house in Mexico City with the Paris Review, for the Winter 1981 edition of the literary magazine, Gabriel Garcia Marquez berated interviewer Peter H. Stone for bringing along a tape recorder to harness the accuracy of the exchange.Marquez

The interview, which occurred over the course of three late afternoon meetings spanning approximately two hours each, involved the Colombian artist speaking mostly in Spanish, with his sons translating much of his words.

Through it, Marquez provides illuminating insights into how a novel and a piece of journalistic literature are conditioned by the expectations of editors. Writing for newspapers versus novels impedes the flow of creativity, suggests Marquez, when he writes:

“I had to condition my thoughts and ideas to the interests of the newspaper. Now, after having worked as a novelist…

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Be Still

be still
Be Still
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Be still, no matter what goes on in your life; be still! Where are we going? Why do we race when elements will still be in place? Storms always come and wreak havoc, even then we seem prepared. Storms leave and bring the sunshine’s glare.

Be still, no matter what goes on in your brain; be still. Thoughts of confusion and unease, when all we need is the sound of silence. Let the thoughts flow and find their place, they will each find their own little cave.

Be still, no matter what goes on in your heart; be still. Emotions feel real and sometimes we give them the upper hand. At the end of the day, they are just feelings that we choose to stand on. They mean nothing to the outside world, sometimes it is a mask of something else.

And people will love your demeanor. When you are still, people wonder about you. Where does your happiness come from? How can happiness reign in your soul, when storms continue to plague you? It is your acceptance and your grace.

Your grace is your aura, not everyone’s transcends with such beauty and leaves an effortless trail. It is undeniably learned through gratitude, not just by spoken words but by random acts.  So be still my friends, be still and your answers will come to light, just as the dark full night, be still.

Change Me, Change You, Change the World

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Change Me, Change You,

Change the World

It’s 5am, ‘zombied-out’, can’t sleep, get up.
Coffee going, pop a pill, take a shot, the brain engine starts.

Sit on my desk, look outside, everyone is walking, running or driving, dehumanizing humanity. Do we like where we are going, are we happy? What makes us happy?

Routine

Are we robots? We look so still, some of us look lifeless, others look neutral, some of us don’t smile anymore. We walk like no one is watching. People are watching, I am watching.

Dog walking, the recycle trucks, garbage pick-ups, we spit, we cough, we spread germs, dog shit everywhere, some of us just don’t care.

Noise

Bus stops, pay fare, find a seat and ride. We don’t talk, we read, we listen to the noise, sometimes music, sometimes just noise…

What happened to the silence? It is too silent, I don’t care for quiet moments. My head troubles me, thoughts flowing and life is still going. We live in a box, at least it looks that way, everyday! We feel but is that real?

Only Today

Where do we go? Are we thinking of yesterday. Maybe, we are thinking about tomorrow. One thing is for sure, it is almost never about today.

The Path

Am I a pawn in someone else’s journey? Am I a soldier walking the line? Do I take the longer path or the shorter path. Am I the master of my falls? What about my success? Is my influence my creator, mentor, or teacher? Am I being the same to someone else. What else is out there?

Inequality about Currency

Bills have to get paid, money is real, but how much of it is important? Should I respect it, or discredit it as a simple mass of nothingness, it is paper with value! It means something. It is prejudice and there’s an inequality about it, some of us have a lot of it and others, well not enough!

Family Love and Hurt

Families are blood, and yet, we hurt the ones we love! We hurt for them, too. They keep us company, drive us insane and teach us sometimes about the right or wrong lanes. A pattern repeating history, whose story, everyone’s? It’s all the same, I think. Everyone has dysfunction at some point in their life.

Change Your Heart Change What You See

Destination arrival, how was the journey, routinely robotic. No change, what change, not outside but inside. Inside where, inside your heart, inside your eyes, that is where everything looks different, what do you mean? Change your heart, change what you see and eventually you will, change the world.

The Imprisonment Bubble

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Alter Reality
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Do you know anything about living in a bubble? I do not speak of the bubble that belongs to you, where  people love to say the “world is my oyster” no, not that bubble.  I speak of the imprisonment bubble, the bubble that you created years ago by your transgressions and no matter how hard you try to get out of it, there are still some things that you need to resolve.

Sometimes I wonder, how did I get here? But I can literally answer my very own question. I could sit here and blame many things like party, booze, and friends. I could also blame my two ex-husbands, we never married but as a Latina, if you bear a child with any man and you live with him for some time. In the future, when you speak of him, he becomes your ex-husband, just to avoid all the middle bullshit explanation. The truth is no matter what external forces we expose ourselves to, no matter what type of people we have crossed paths with, and no matter what harm anyone has done to us; today we only have ourselves to blame. The imprisonment bubble will keep you in the past and unless you plan on time traveling to your past, you need to focus on today and your side of the street.

Truthfully, my imprisonment bubble is very minor. I pray for only wisdom, for with wisdom, I can acquire many things. I use to pray for patience but my lord would place me in many situations where my patience would run slim, so I no longer care for patience. For I behave patiently through faith and wisdom. I live an extremely patient and faithful life, my higher power is God and he helps me get through the most difficult emotions that I stumble upon.

The greatest phrase I have ever learned was this too shall pass, without it life could be cursing and miserable. Talking to real people is wonderful, if you ever have a heart to heart with someone, you will find out that they too, have their imprisonment bubble to bear. Everyone’s got something to worry about and be faithfully patient about.

No matter what the situation is, I make time pass gracefully as I approach the end of my imprisonment bubble. My life-long goal that will take me through this journey is acquiring space, peace and freedomSpace allows my brain not to feel confined to my own ruin, peace allows me to think clearly about life, family and friends and freedom, ah yes, freedom from the bondage of the things that hold me down.

We all have a bubble that imprisons us; some of us choose not to speak of it. I have just merely scratched the surface without too much detail. We are not perfect human beings, we all make mistakes. I know I am only preaching to the choir, but what are we doing to move forward gracefully. Are we reading, dancing, writing, talking and living, or are we kicking and screaming and becoming pure prisoners of our imprisonment bubble?

So as you close this friendly piece of literature I leave you with, ask yourselves what am I doing to break free from my imprisonment bubble? Do you believe you can alter your reality?

Albert Einstein once said that “reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”

The Engaged Idealist

My Personality Type: The Engaged Idealist. The Engaged Idealist Engaged Idealists are extroverted and helpful. Others find them to be very congenial and inspiring – especially as they are always willing to see the best in the other person. Their humor, their energy and their optimism attract other people. Engaged Idealists are very good at […]